Wed, 26 Jan 2005

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executive dysfunction syndrome

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it's bizarre how they pretty much have a name for everything, how it has become fashionable to call every little personality quirk a syndrome.

take executive dysfunction, for example. it refers to a kind of frontal lobe problem, basically a sub-type and/or differential diagnosis for ADHD. it really just means those times when you have too many things to do or so many choices to make that you don't know what to do next and so you just freeze up and let everything go to hell.

so now we enter the whole nurture-vs-nature debate. whenever someone coins a fancy name like ADHD or executive dysfunction syndrome, the next thing that comes up is, whose fault is it? (and the lawyers come of the woodwork…)

but that is beside the point at this stage.

as they say, you can't put the shit back into the horse.

of course, it's easy to rationalize and point to my procrastinating tendencies as the root cause of all my problems, which is kind of silly. i know for a fact that i can cure myself of my procrastination and still have a lot of problems. problems are like the molecules of an ideal gas: they expand as necessary to fill up the entire space.

it's hard to want to cure myself of my malady, too. after all, i've gotten by these 28 years OK. sure, there have been plenty of rough spots and tight squeezes, but that's life, right?

the problem with this particular malady is that it fucks with motivation. try as one might, it would be hard to get me to change without some serious jedi mind tricks, or maybe electroconvulsive therapy. with a problem like this, someone could threaten to kill me if i don't fix my problem, and i'd probably just lock up and let them shoot me in the head right there.

such is the nature of this beast.

shit.

one of these days i'm just going to have to figure things out, grow up, and act like a responsible adult.

right.

09:54:10 26 Jan 2005 > /soul > permalink > 6 comments

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