Sat, 26 Feb 2005



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This season has traditionally been a time of giving up things, but perhaps because of Vatican II (when hippies apparently infiltrated the Catholic Church), when I was growing up in Catholic School, the emphasis was on making a life-affirming change. Instead of negative reinforcement, the idea was to do something positive. Instead of giving something up, the idea was to do something new to make oneself a better person or make the world a better place.

So in that spirit, I have vowed to not wallow in my dingy apartment on my days off. To that end, I actually went out last night (witness my barely coherent musings and the pathetic story fragment that it inspired.) And today, I decided to visit the Sea (which, as I have mentioned, I am completely obsessed with.)

Today I found myself in La Jolla. While there are better, less snobby beaches to go to, for some reason I was drawn there. Maybe it's simply because of the cliffs, reminding me of my mad trip up Highway 1. Maybe it's the traces of memories from those demented days when I would fly out to California from Chicago and spend time visiting my sister here. I don't know.

The thing I noticed is that the music on the radio really gets me down. I don't know why. Because I don't live that far away from work right now, I haven't been bringing my iPod with me, which may have been detrimental to my mental health. Now that I am listening to my own music again, I feel much better. I want to rationalize that it's because the hip-hop they play on the radio is dreary and appeals to base commercialism and materialism, while the hip-hop that I have on my iPod is typically life-affirming, cognizant of the Struggle, and/or cerebral. Conclusion: hip-hop on the radio sucks shit. Nothing we already didn't know.

So I wandered around the streets of La Jolla with my iPod on, and it really made a difference to my mood. I stayed out there until the sun was too low to provide any warmth, reading The Executive Brain: Frontal Lobes and the Civilized Mind on a bench overlooking the cove. The book really reinforces my suspicion that I suffered some subtle brain damage when they anesthetized me as a kid, given my general indecisiveness and the overwhelming inertia I feel when trying to start a project. It's probably no surprise to anyone who knows me well that I probably have some kind of brain damage. True, I may be highly functioning, but I've always maintained that I'm probably the stupidest smart guy you'll ever meet.

After that, I decided to go to Coronado, another site of decadence, where the affluent dwell. One of the places I work is actually in Coronado, so I ate at a familiar diner and browsed quickly through a familiar book store. By then the sun had set, so I headed home, a little weary, somewhat pathetically content that I at least didn't simply rot at home.

The question is, how long can I keep this up? Can I keep going for the next three months without having an entire weekend off?

Still, I suppose I don't really have any choice. Sink or swim, baby, sink or swim.

19:14:03 26 Feb 2005 > /soul > permalink > 3 comments


Name/Blog: Brenda
Title: gSeOtUCWvSCwiwv
Comment/Excerpt: people spent themselves out in Nov and Dec 2011, low AE sales then too. Tapped out and creidt cards maxxed out, taxes due and holiday malaise sets in. Big buying spurt in January when prices were low $30's an oz. not out of the ordinary for february to tail off. Add Jan and Feb together and they would make a good two month salesconsumer sentiment dropped like the proverbial rock in Jan and Feb. No mas dinero in the average buyers pockets at the present time. Gas prices going to $4 and $5 a gallon and inflation eating the paycheck. Unemployment benefits terminated for some. This takes hundreds of billions of FIAT out of the AE sales. While Feb is not over yet it could hit 2,000,000 sales. They may or may not pick up after April stack up which the prices are still under $40

Name/Blog: xwspovgxi
Title: OAowqAZYOiiZ
Comment/Excerpt: jFLfQV <a href="">hpgjyeabgstr</a>

Name/Blog: rrkwui
Title: GiOPhORUniumsCFPJ
Comment/Excerpt: NDVy6H , [url=]ziyznrodtush[/url], [link=]rhfjgwrtsaxf[/link],

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