responding to internal stimuli

Wed, 28 Sep 2005

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insomnia (how i hate the night)

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Now the world has gone to bed, Darkness won't engulf my head, I can see by infrared, How I hate the night.

Now I lay me down to sleep, Try to count electric sheep, Sweet dream wishes you can keep, How I hate the night.

—Marvin the Paranoid Android from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

so you know you're in trouble when you wake up and then immediately regret it, mostly because you must now consciously face some fact that you wish weren't true.

how is it that a recriminating conversation indicting me for emotional stagnation, coupled with a relationship status change on someone's profile on Friendster create sudden emotional turbulence, the likes of which I would hardly be able to foresee even just a week ago?

in other words, why can't anything ever stay simple?

but I recognize that it doesn't matter. or, more precisely, it does matter right now, but since it won't kill me (I'm pretty sure), in the big picture, it doesn't matter.

or some such solipsistic rationalization as such.

feh.

03:37:18 28 Sep 2005 > /soul > permalink > 1 comments